It is the night before the surgery and as I sit here in this hotel room I get more nervous and more scared by the minute. I am having trouble concentrating on trying to finish all of my homework due this week and trying to get my heart to stop pounding so hard in my chest. The only other time that I have felt this kind of feeling is right before I have gone on stage to dance for an audience. I have never hated that feeling, until tonight. It just keeps reminding me that the surgery is slowly getting closer.
I had my last meal tonight at the hotel with my parents, we ate at the restaurant where my sister works, she was actually our waitress. So, our whole family was together tonight...somewhat. Tonight was my last night of eating a meal and having to deal with the pain after filling myself. After tomorrow, I will (hopefully) no longer have to deal with the painful consequences of eating.
I have already done the prep required for tonight, which consisted of me not using lotions and using a special soap to decrease the risk of infection from the surgery. Tomorrow morning before the surgery I will have to use the soap again one more time, before heading to the hospital.
I just want to take the time to say I really appreciate everything that everyone has done for me these past few weeks. My professors have helped work with me on dealing with my medical issues and balancing my homework with it.I would especially like to thank Barbara Scott Dawdy for sitting and listening to me while I cry, and being there for me when I didn't even realize how much I needed it. My sorority sisters, have helped drive me everywhere, sat with me when I needed it, and gave me a shoulder to cry on when I have needed it (which, lately, has been almost everyday). My family has stayed up late with me when I needed to talk on the phone, my mom has driven me to all of my doctor appointments and they have just been there for me to support me through everything I have been through these past couple of days, weeks and even months. Danny has also been there for me by driving an hour to sit with me while I slept, or to hold me while I cry. And I cannot tell you how much I appreciate all of this, without having you all to talk to, I am not sure how I would have handled everything.
I am going to wrap it up tonight. When I write to all of you tomorrow I will no longer have my median arcuate ligament, I will have normal blood flow to my digestive organs and I will have begun the long journey to recovery.
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